New Bag.

As much as I enjoy bitching....

I also want to post things from my sketch book. If not for feedback then for my own silly pleasure.

No Exit Strategery.

Why is our president such a moron? According to his last speech the reason we shouldn't pull out Iraq is because terrorists would commence more attacks on our country's soil. So... since the war has been going on.... the terrorists stopped planning attacks? Mr. Bush you redefine stupid on a daily basis. Is this what we should call STRATEGERY? Who elected this guy? Oh yeah, people who don't want boys kissing.

another test.... yes I'm learning.

just a test

Weekend Break Down.

Friday.
I worked a half day @ KC and had my oil changed finally! I was only 6-7 thousand miles overdue. The drive up to Muncie was fantastic. I think it may have actually been one of the best parts of my whole weekend second only to seeing Kristin again. Anyway, it was great being in Muncie and hanging with Asian-Ben while having access to g4 and 9 pizza kings.

Saturday.
I tried really hard to sleep but couldn't. No surprises there. We left to go pick up and meet people in Hartford at around 2:30 am. We met up with Asian-Ben's friends Derrik, Lam, Kevin, and Kevin's lady Debra. The guys were all dressed up in shirts from Alter Ego Comics, I was not. Anyway, we drove up to Chicago. I managed a total of maybe a few hours sleep. We got there and I was still tired from lack of sleep. Everyone else got in almost right when we got there as they had advance tickets. I had to wait an hour until I could be allowed to buy a ticket. After buying my ticket I got ushered off to a room where I got to wait another hour ro be allowed into the convention hall. Yep, I had to wait two hours longer than all the people I came up with. Note to self for next year, buy advanced tickets. Inside was awesome. Kristin, beautiful and talented. People in costumes, not always beautiful. After the con we went on an adventure to find our hotel. When we finally found it we found out that the double room 6 people were supposed to share was actually a single bedroom for 6 people to share. Kevin and Deb got the bed. Asian-Ben, Derrik, and I slept on the floor while Lam very oddly sorta slept upright in a chair. I was camped out under the sink area next to the bathroom. I slept like a baby.

Sunday.
Everyone was up by 8 am and we left around 9 am. Kevin and Debra went back to the con while we stopped at Dunkin Donuts before making the trek back to Muncie. I've missed Dunkin Donuts. I still have a few left of the dozen I bought. When we got back Asian-Ben took Lam and Derrik back to Hartford City while I did some fanart of Harley Quinn and Cammy. I had pizza king that night.

Monday.
I woke up around 11:30 am and watched a generous amount of g4tv. How I miss that channel... After Asian-Ben awoke we went to go see Talladega Nights: the ballad of Ricky Bobby. It was funny funny. We stopped off at Alter Ego Comics to say whats up to jason. After that I left for home. The trip down was fast and enjoyable, but knowing where I was traveling too seriously decreased the joy of the trip. Tomorrow I get to go back to dull existense in C-bus IN.

-Ciao

Things I learned from WWChicago Con 2006

one.
I need to bring my own water and food. I paid almost $8 for a tiny slice of pizza and a small cup of pepsi(which was filled to the brim with ice).
two.
I want more money to spend. I went over to the TopCow and Aspen booths first and then made a B-line to Artist alley. I bought a print of [link]" a moon<>from kristin. After that she gave me another print which was equally awesome of Kiani (my favorite Fathom toon). She directed me to another artist, Stuart Sayger, from whom I bought a print. So it was in my head then that I wanted art, art, art. I found Tony Moore (walking dead) and just about lost it. The Walking Dead is my favorite comic right now. Bad thing was, he was charging $75 for sketches. Thats a lot, but I REALLY wanted him to do me as a Zombie. So next year I will get one, I just need more money to spend on that and buy books at the same time.
three.
Attend more panels. I loved the ones I attended, those being Peter Stiegerwald's coloring class, and Peter David's writing class. I need to attend these for two VERY important reasons. One being you learn a ton about comics. And, two you get to sit down for at least an hour. My feet were my downfall Saturday. It's hard to have as much fun as possible when you feel like you're walking on rocks barefoot.
four.
Have a better camera. Last year I had my film camera which is an awesome camera for art photography but not snapshot as it is manual/analog. This year I borrowed my dad's digicam which was awesome until I realized that it takes several seconds to save the pictures and if you say, do something with it before it's finished saving, you lose the pic you just took. I took ALOT of pics at the con, but only four saved to the camera....
Overall.
It was superfluous! I had SO much fun this year. I got many great comics including the excellent first trade of Girls from the luna brothers. I also got lots of inspirational art from some excellent people.
Kristin, you rock.

A Short Letter To The Indiana Sniper.

Dear Asshole,

What gives you the right? I hope your fate is not decided by a jury, but by the families of those whose lives you have forever made just a little bit darker. I do not blame you. I blame your parents. They deserve the same fate as you. A 17 year-old with access to a sniper rifle is insane. I hope they are proud, your parents. They raised a murderer well.
It is people like you that make this pascifist glad we have a death penalty. Now where as I'm sure your age will prevent you with recieving it, I do hope that the prosecution dangles in your face enough to make you sick. I know you'll never really be sorry for what you've done. I just hope you spend the rest of your life being as stupid and bored as you must have been this past weekend. I hope you spend the rest of your life learning you truly are a worthless piece of shit. What gave you the right?

What To Do?

It's those little reminders in life that really get under your skin.

Myspace.com is a good way to keep in touch with friends and see what people are up to. It is also good at reminding you of all the things you are NOT doing. At least, thats how it works for me. It's not like I have had a choice lately though. I'm working everyday of the week now. The people I hang with are usually already busy at something by the time I'm availible. Actually, I'm usually too tired at the end of the day to care one way or the other.

Then I get on Myspace and get reminded, oh yeah! People do things. Damn you responsibility! I have some days off coming up though and I'm going to take full advantage of them. I wanna do some kinda road trip. I was orginally supposed to be going to Chicago for a convention during the weekend in question, but because of financial obligations to a certain loan company I cannot. SO road trip! Somewhere cheap, yet fun. Ideas?

-Ciao

This Week in my Own Personal History

I am working ALOT these days. As I've made aware to most people I've come in contact with, I'm working 7 days a week. Actually I work everyday from July 19th to August 3rd. It's bearable (bareable?) whatever, it is and at least it means more money for the hell-plague that is college loan repayment. Word.
So, this week was my Art Camp at KC. Yeah, it started out bumpy, but I found my grove and it turned out awesome. It's a big deal for those who don't know, because it's basically my first stab at teaching art in a classroom session. Oh yeah, I fucking rocked it. The kids loved me, the parents said I did a great job, my co-workers were giving me props left and right. I couldn't be happier with it. It's gratifying to know the things I came up with were so well recieved, and enjoyed by the kids.
As a psuedo-reward to myself I ordered some climbing gear. It just doesn't get old. It's good for you/me. I haven't had a physically challenging hobby in years, not since wheelchair sports in college. I ordered some shoes and a harness for climbing. At work we got some new climbing rope in so Wall-Alex and I are getting the old ones replaced.
It occured to me that the places to to throw up graffito expands exponentially when you can reach higher surfaces.... I'm just sayin'.
In other news, I canceled my trip to the Chicago ComicCon. Against my will. Thats all I have to say about that.

-Ciao

Of Summer Eclair's and Pupils Alike...

Bizarre things are afoot...



... well just one foot would be pretty bizarre! (Rim-shot) followed by (crickets)

Hmm.

Well I was running around myspace last night and happened upon a girl I knew from 3 years ago and lost contact with. As I like to keep my subject's anonymity, I'll refer to her as Summer Eclair. That will do. But I digress, Summer Eclair was 14 years of age a lable I am sure she would strongly protest. In normal space/ time functionality it would put her at about 17 now. So imagine my surprise when I found she'd manage to fold time, in relative terms of course, so that she actually doubled her rate of aging over the past few years and found her at the age of 20 on her myspace account. Now, as I was later informed the ruse is only in place so that she can live normally the life of a college student. Yes, 17 and a soon to be sophomore at the University of {censored}. She is a bright, mature, beautiful girl. I'm pleased as punch that shes studying photography.

In other news:

Today was the first day of Art Camp at my place of business. When I awoke this morning I couldn't remember what a pencil was let alone how to teach an art class. After a 32 oz pepsi and a few seconds of pumping adrenaline in front of 20 students, not only did I remember but, and I must be frank, I rocked being an art teacher!

Guess that means I'm on one of those Ups.

-Ciao

Even My Own Mind Is Against Me....

I just woke up from the single most depressing dream I've ever had. First let me explain that I don't dream much and even more rarely so I dream and not know it's a dream....

"It's my first day back living at college. I was back at ECU and living in the dorms. My roommate was a stocky guy who was really into computers. Through out the day I met a few other dudes that lived nearby and they were all asking me questions about what games I like and what my first college experience was like. Later, on we sitting out in the common area when a student put on play started up. The play was very artsy and boring so the 3 other guys and myself got up and started what I think was some sort of laser tag game. Dreams are hazy about these things. Anyway the game roused the attentions of our R.A.....

This girl was the dream embodiment of everything I've always wanted in a woman. Which should have been a BIG clue! Anyway she came in to explain a few things to me about policies and then she came onto me. Not in a sexual way, but a romantic way. Then we started making out. Thats when it hit me that this was a dream.

I woke up in my bed and was pissed that it wasn't real. I was storming around and I ran into my mom. I told her about the dream and how perfect it was and yada yada yada. The next day I was coming back from work still moping. Mom comes up to me determined telling me she saw the girl I described or at least someone alot like her. As I was telling her I couldn't do it. She told me to do it for my sister. Because my sister had recently died in the Ocean from a shark bite to the neck. I then remembered what happened to my sister and started crying, not Liz not Liz."

It was then I woke up. Depressed as hell from that for a minute. The reference to my sister being dead came from the last dream I remember having from about 2 months ago. I HATE dreams like that! Ugh.... now I gotta talk to someone on th ephone and act like nothing incredibly weird ever happened.

-Ciao

The Events In Your Life Go Up and Down

The more you need sleep the harder it is to get that sleep.
It must be late, my reminder that my anti-virus subscription has expired notice just popped up. So, I need to write to get my thoughts out, then maybe, sleep.

Since my last post a lot of things have happened. A few notable events like being kicked out of my house by my mother, and subsequently learning that someone I know isn't who I thought she was. I hope she knows two things... that I'm mad at her but also that just because I'm mad at her dosn't mean I don't still care about her. I also went to full-time hours at kidscommons... only eight months after I was promised I would be. Just in time for the 6 month loan defferment to come to a close. On the heels of that came the firing of one of my bosses which has proven to be a blessing for most who still work at kidscommons.

Another aspect of life that has materialized in the last few days is that my life is suffering from very polarized times of happiness and unhappiness. I attribute this to the fact that I latch so tightly onto the good things in life, whilst becoming as apathetic during the unhappy moments. This past Saturday was incredibly fun. I met someone from Myspace who lives a town over. She's completely attractive but my trepadation far exceeds my attraction due to the other 2 guys she's interested in. Still I hope that theres a new friendship there at least. I went out and had a great time with some other people later that night. Went with Wall-Alex and his very obscurely opinionated ex-girlfriend who's name escapes me. We had strange conversations ranging from Elvis and Graceland to masturbation and Heidi Klum's "Big German Tits". All That was great, then Sunday sucked. World Cup finals prevented it from being a total loss but after the game there was no event too small I wouldn't have attended to bring in some enjoyment to the waining hours of a wretched day.

So I've hit a low end again. Maybe that means tomorrow will be awesome and I'll pick up and hit another highpoint again. I wonder, can you be counted as bipolar if it's not your personality or emotional state but more your life and all the factors that surround you?

-Ciao

Paradise

It’s a strange thing, seeing something differently than you ever did before. For the first time in longer than I can remember I actually watched The Beach in it’s entirety. Instead of the wanderlust or longing for that one perfect day that I usually get filled with I felt the weight of the darkness in the movie. I remember the darkness in the book and I never once associated that with movie until now. Oddly enough, this re-envisioned sense of the movie only makes it that much more precious to me. I think it’s a sign that I’ve changed and grown.

The movie used to be a metaphore for a place of escape. Whether it was while I was watching the movie itself or listening to the soundtrack like I am now, it always took me out of reality to some more perfect place. A safe place where I could be that young college guy sitting out in the sun reading a book with my beautiful girlfriend.

The music of the movie will always remind me of such a time and place where that was a reality for a few hours. Songs from the movie with that overwhelming sense of a sunny day's promise. When I bought the soundtrack it was one of the first warm days of spring my second year of college. It was the spring of 2002. I remember the grassy area outside my dorm called the "Noyer Bowl" filled with people playing sports or laying out enjoying the sun. My girlfriend of the time, Marie and I went out and laid out under a tree and read our respective books. I popped the Beach soundtrack into my CD player and drifted off. It was absolutely perfect.
It’s been a more that four years since that day and in that time the world has changed around me completely. Obviously, most of the changes since then have been good ones so I don’t know that there is any sadness in these thoughts. It’s just odd because for the first time I more than understand the closing lines of the movie...

"I still believe in paradise, but now I know it's not some place you can look for. Because it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life. If you find that moment, it lasts forever."

-Ciao

Fuck The Middle East, Bring Our Troops Home!!!

I'm pissed and need to vent.

I just read that the bodies of the soldiers who were captured last week in Irag have been found and were "brutally" murdered. I am so fucking sick of people dying because of some fucking asshole's religion. Yes, Bush and those Al Queda assholes. I wish we could put all our tyranical leaders and all those fanatical fucks into a room and watch the ensuing cock-fight.
One of the soldiers was a year older than me and one was a year younger than me. So it gets to me when I find out that in the line of doing their job they were kidnapped and gleefully eviscerated by some fundementalist, self-righteous son of a bitch because our presidents cronies bombed the shit out of some other assholes house. In other words, these two guys around my age were killed because a couple other people they've never met don't like each other.
And thats what it is. It's a game of who's got the bigger religious cock?! If cocksize were based on character all these evil, murderous pricks would be

EUNUCHS!

I long for a more peaceful world.

-Ciao

Just a Reminder...

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Just in case anyone forgot.

-Ciao

Damn! I look GooOWW!

Life is nonstop. Another one of my friends is getting married, still another is expecting their first child. I was walking and I suddenly felt this pain up my leg. Yes, I know the former have nothing to do with the latter but it just goes to show ya... Life is constantly throwing things you'll never expect.

And to think, an hour or two before all of that happened I was thinking about how good I looked in my new clothes today.

-Ciao

Jimmy Cracks Corn and I Don't Give a Sh....

Ever have one of those days where despite the best efforts of the world around you you're in a good mood? Thats me today. I loathe my job. Lost a bunch of money fixing my van. I'm single and have been for awhile. Despite all of that I feel happy, and no mood enhancing drugs are currently present either. Sometimes life is just odd as all get out.

-Ciao

This Is How You Remind Me....

I was going through my email account looking for an address of a friend I haven't spoken to in years and I came across a bunch of emails from a girlfriend from a lifetime ago. Out of pure curiosity I started reading a few. Most were short messages of I love you or apology type letters from afer a fight, yes we fought alot. After a couple I had to stop because I suddenly realized how much I miss having a girlfriend. I've been single for awhile now and it hasn't been too bad. Being single as we all know has it's ups and downs but I've honestly had way more "ups". However, after reading those emails I just miss the small things that happen everyday. I don't miss my Ex, not by any stretch of the imagination but I do miss being in a relationship. Lately, where I have wanted to date I haven't put much effort into it because I'm trying to concentrate on getting the financial stability ball rolling a bit. Now, though, I'm feel a stronger urge to date again.... Anyone know anyone?

-Ciao

Intelligent Design, No Wait! Design Intelligence!

Professionally speaking, I had a major thing happen this past week. I finished my first design comission. I was asked to design some panel displays for kidscommons. Those are the things when you go to fairs or whatever that sit on tables and tell about whatever the person is marketing. Like those big cardboard things kids use in science fairs. You get it. So I really got dicked as far as pay, and I'm none to happy about it. Basically I got rewarded more work hours for my efforts. In a practical sense that means more money but I still have to work for it. Kind of a shit reward. None the less the pride and sense of accomplishment I have helps get over the other short comings. Whats weird is I actually kind of enjoyed doing it. I've never been into graphic design. Corporate shit in general makes me sick. It makes me think republican, yuck! That being said I've been inspired to maybe persue more design projects to give myself some other sources of revenue. On the other hand I want to keep it to a minimum, I don't want to end up in a job where I lose my feel of art as opposed to design.

-Ciao

Not To Be Confused With...

...Pixar's Cars of which I have no opinion.

but

Car's Suck.
We are too dependent on them as a source of transportation. The very nature of a car is that of a place of isolation. Gas is too expensive. This is my professional unbiased opinion.
My personal opinion is much the same with the addition of cars being too expensive to fix. I bring this up because I dropped $800 to fix the breaks on my car for the second time in less than a year. This is the second time in less than a year that my car has taken me out of being financially stable into "Oh Fuck!" territory. Side effects of living in Oh Fuck include missing a good friend's grad party. Thats COLLEGE grad party. Also, I was going to take part in a bit of luxury and get myself a tattoo finally. I know, I know! These are superficial concerns and I should just be happy that no real damage was done to my car or my body for that matter.
That being said.... well, cars suck. I'm gonna ride the city bus.

Buses rock.

-Ciao