Ask Yourself...

I don't know if she will ever understand because I don't know if she really even cares. The way my blood surges in my veins when I picture of her smile. The feeling never changed. My heart aches for her every time I hear the word love. Whenever I see her picture my eyes focus on her beautiful face...

But I don't know if she really even cares. The affirmation of a warm body next to me doesn't exist. The loving gaze that meets mine to confirm a deeper passion doesn't look for me. I have only the the broken electronic modification of her heavenly voice as it comes through a telephone to reassure me, ever more frustrated, that she does indeed love me. Mostly, I have the world wide web to thank and curse for my last remaining scraps of interpersonal communication with she who my heart longs for every second of my life. A message to her followed by those obsessive moments that stretch on for hours and days waiting for response. Waiting for some rebuttal or some vindication of deepest emotion desperately needing to be shared.

There are so many ways to tell a person that you love them and I will try every way a hundred times until the message is seen, heard, or felt...

...but I don't know if she really even cares. There is the hope that she does though...

With love, always follows hope.

-S