All I Can Do Is Read A Book To Stay Awake...

"and it rips my life away but it's a great escape."

I dream in still photos and graffiti writing. My dreams are often filled with the extremes of my existence and the possibilities that can be or could have been. Every photo is perfect and captures the emotion of the situation in ways even the dimwit passing by the gallery only haphazardly glancing aside could instantly pick up on the story and find himself immersed in the art exhibit that is my subconscious. There's almost always graffiti in my dreams. Even the sex dreams there'd be something on the bed post written in black sharpy. Once, I remember the quote was from Shakespeare, it was on a wall nearby it said, "Go forward, through." Was I ever! It's stuff like that... I wish I could tap into my inner creativity, my subconscious genius and out it out on paper. If I could figure that little magic trick out, I'd have the opportunity to find myself very comfortable for the rest of my days.

Last night I had a dream about a girl. She was dirty blonde and beautiful. Her smile was incredible and she made me think of summer time with the way her face lit up when she looked at me. I remember the phrase written on a table in the restaurant we were in and it said," Faberge' Happiness." Meaning, I guess, that happiness is like a Faberge egg. It is beautiful and worth a lot to you, but if you're not careful with it, it can shatter into a thousand pieces and be lost to you forever. I read this to myself a hundred times over. Her bright blue eyes were still staring and smiling back at me as if I hadn't but glanced at the writing. She was speaking but I couldn't hear her. I knew what she was saying though. She went on and on about how much she loved me and how much fun we had. That part of the dream came in flashes, photographic images of her. Close ups of her eyes and lips. Then the smile was gone and suddenly she looked very serious and started backing away. She got up and left the table, then the restaurant. I was sitting alone again staring at the table which now read, " This too, shall pass."

That's when I woke up. I sat up in my bed missing her dearly. I had to type this up just to get back to sleep. It was an awfully vivid dream and the kind I could do without. Everyone tells me it's best to move on. I am moving on I just don't know what I'm moving on to. Guess that's life huh?

"I just want someone to say to me, I'll always be there when you wake."

-S