"So no one told you life was gonna be this way?
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year..."
So, it turns out when I'm content, I have no need to write.
For awhile there everything in my life was slowly coming together, or so it seemed to me. My social life seemed to be cruising along steadily with a group of friends who could be counted on. Freebird was back from DC and we were hanging out a lot. Work seemed survivable given that break was on and when I was there it was lethargically paced and relaxed. The shop was accommodating and somewhere to go to blow off an hour or 2. Even my family was around and in good spirits.
Fate, it seems, is not without a habit of being bipolar.
Here at the ass end of break with literally 6 minutes until Monday, damn near everything has changed. Socially speaking, the climax of break would have been the awesome party Doug and Mara put on for New Years eve. Everyone who was there, I think, had a glorious time! Examining in literary fashion you would see that after the grand climax of a story, there follows the "Denouement" where things sort of wind down into a resolution phase of the story. Sadly, in this story it's not all butterflies and hot dogs. The following morning I caused a verbal disagreement with Freebird that kind of wrecked everything. Now, particulars aside, we sorted things out on Saturday but I'm still left with this insecurity about things that won't help matters at all. She's going back to school in a couple weeks which was kind of the issue to begin with.....
I also spent time at the shop on Friday for a bit and Saturday. I'm not even sure how to describe it... Saturday I found myself with the same old feelings I'd had over the summer. Feelings of unappreciation and unneededness, if that's even proper English... Maybe it was just me, maybe it was just that day but I ended up leaving early and going home. Now my friends, well nothing's really changed there, Except Kwikki and I had a few choice words exchanged at one point. However, friends are all great. I just didn't see a whole lot of some of them and only realized today that I've kinda missed them. Missing them is my doing though so no worries there. As for family, my sister went home and Mom and Dad disappeared on day trips to where ever. I only heard from them when Verizon bugged them for me to pay my phone bill.
Which brings me to work. Job Corps. Tomorrow... errr... TODAY, I get thrown back into the fires of Hell. Back to the fast paced pressure of trying to get everything done in our understaffed little department. Bring on the headaches and bring on the stress. Oh well.
I'm trying to think more positively and it's going to have to start with Job Corps. So, here goes... Fortunately over break I had plenty of time to work on my office. I spent a few bucks and hours making it a little more comfortable. I added new wall art and stocked it with some food items. I rearranged furniture a bit and frankly it's almost cozy! LOL not really but for a place I have to spend a fair portion of my week, and for being in the middle of one of my most despised places ever, it's a sanctuary if ever there was one at Job Corps. So that's that. As far as the shop goes, well, did most of what I needed, no strike that, not needed, would-have-been-asked-to-do so if I don't show up there til Friday, I know I won't be missed. Friends? Well we're gonna have to hang out more, I mean I went and saw Juno McRollin'-Wit-Dubs tonight for a short minute. We watched as a lady shop-lifted at Lowe's and ran off, cashier in hot pursuit. She's about to effin' pop so there's that to look forward to.
Finally, I'm trying to find things to distract me, but I'm also trying to change my life for the better. I've decided to commit myself to exercising. I was inspired by my visits to Millrace over the last few days. I went out again today by myself and walked around the neighborhood of the Punkin Patch. Despite the tightness and soreness I experience I feel that energy coming back. It's such a great feeling and I missed it intensely. The good news is that it's only the beginning. Hopefully I'll be inspired to stick with it, hell, maybe someone will ACTUALLY do it with me!... Hmmm better not get my hopes up. Finding an exercise partner for me is actually harder than trying to find a date! LOL Wish me luck. For now though I need to get to bed. It's almost half past midnight and I still have to get up at 6.
"I'll be there for you, cuz you're there for me too."
-S
update: Freebird ended it. We're done.
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