There Are Places I’ll Remember All My Life... Though Some Have Changed

I was searching for a wall socket to plug in my Laptop. I was wanting to watch another episode of the Sopranos to fall asleep to. In searching I came across a shoe box with old photos in it. There baby pictures of both my sister and I. My parents college graduations, and other events that transpired before 1997. There were several from christmas years past. The idea of seeing yourself at a younger age isn't all that shocking. This time around I noticed my father more than anything. In so many of the pictures he was thinner and had a youthful exuberance in his smile. Something he sadly has no more. I mean he smiles, but not like that. He's older. It struck me. We notice people growing up all the time.We even notice people growing old. How often do you notice a person aging? I've never thought of my father as an old man. I always saw him as just, well, older. However, after seeing the comparison, from say, Yesterday during gift exchanges for Christmas, compared to the photos of him from a Christmas probably 14 years ago, I noticed the age in his smile. I'm not really sad having noticed it, but more taken aback. There were pictures of my father holding me as a baby. In those pictures he's only about 5 years older than I am now. Frankly, the thought was a little frightening, the idea that I'm catching up to my father in some way. You never think about this stuff until life points it out to you in some way.

I was once younger. I had more ideas, I had more energy. Life was so much less complicated. I was so...unaware of how precarious life can be, will be.

Granted there are so many joys that come with age. Those photos made me ponder the future though. You start looking at the definition in your face, how the once sparkling infinity that was in your eyes have dimmed with experience. It's a strange metaphor as no real light ever eminates from our pupils or iris.... but there is a light there when we're young. I doubt anyone will argue that. Still, next time you look in the mirror and notice your age, don't think of it sadly. Growing old means you're alive. You're not feeding the worms yet. I mean, unless you're out dumping soil on earth worms for the sake of their consumption... which would be weird.
"...some forever, not for better."

Really weird actually. I mean think about it, you'd have to dig up the worms first! Why would you do that? Man, you people are messed up. Stop feeding the fucking worms!....

I guess I ended that oddly.

Well....

"In my life, I've loved them all."

-S