Paradise

It’s a strange thing, seeing something differently than you ever did before. For the first time in longer than I can remember I actually watched The Beach in it’s entirety. Instead of the wanderlust or longing for that one perfect day that I usually get filled with I felt the weight of the darkness in the movie. I remember the darkness in the book and I never once associated that with movie until now. Oddly enough, this re-envisioned sense of the movie only makes it that much more precious to me. I think it’s a sign that I’ve changed and grown.

The movie used to be a metaphore for a place of escape. Whether it was while I was watching the movie itself or listening to the soundtrack like I am now, it always took me out of reality to some more perfect place. A safe place where I could be that young college guy sitting out in the sun reading a book with my beautiful girlfriend.

The music of the movie will always remind me of such a time and place where that was a reality for a few hours. Songs from the movie with that overwhelming sense of a sunny day's promise. When I bought the soundtrack it was one of the first warm days of spring my second year of college. It was the spring of 2002. I remember the grassy area outside my dorm called the "Noyer Bowl" filled with people playing sports or laying out enjoying the sun. My girlfriend of the time, Marie and I went out and laid out under a tree and read our respective books. I popped the Beach soundtrack into my CD player and drifted off. It was absolutely perfect.
It’s been a more that four years since that day and in that time the world has changed around me completely. Obviously, most of the changes since then have been good ones so I don’t know that there is any sadness in these thoughts. It’s just odd because for the first time I more than understand the closing lines of the movie...

"I still believe in paradise, but now I know it's not some place you can look for. Because it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life. If you find that moment, it lasts forever."

-Ciao